four... weeks... left... sigh.

I am losing steam. For so long I was so good about doing all the things I should... eating right, exercising, drinking my raspberry tea, avoiding too many sweets, blah, blah, blah, but now I just feel so over it. I know I should consider myself really lucky - there have been a lot of pregnancy symptoms that I haven't had to deal with and I am still not completely miserably uncomfortable (though true comfort seems a thing of the long ago past) even if I am getting there. I am starting to have more and more trouble sleeping and my whole body hurts. I just want a good nights sleep, chocolate, a drink, and a cigarette. And no, I don't even smoke. Pretty much I just want to over-indulge in any and every physical comfort you can think of. Apparently, I'm not the first one to feel this way...
I am finally considered full term and can have her any time with no complications and I am starting to obsess about labor. Not as in scared of it, but as in, PLEASE COME!! I also obsess about the baby dropping - not because it sounds comfortable in the least to have a head wedged into your pelvis - but because it's one step closer to labor. Every Braxton Hicks contraction or bodily pain I feel - even in my little toe - and I find myself desperately wishing it were true labor. I hope against hope though: I'm pretty sure I'll carry all the way through to the bitter end... and then some. It's just how we Sagers are built. It's a good thing I know, and I know it's better for the baby. I shouldn't complain.

I have started to dream about her at night. I used to sleep so hard (in between my 5-6 bathroom trips per night) that I don't even know if I dreamt. But now that I am more awake at night - even in my sleep - I remember dreaming about her. Last night I dreamed she was a newborn, but yet telling me how to take care of her.

John is such a great husband. Without ever once complaining, he patiently puts up with me when I complain, comforts me when I get emotional, ignores me when I get up five or six times a night - every night - even though he's such a light sleeper and the floor is squeaky right by his head, massages my cramps away when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, ties my shoes now that I can't get at them very easily anymore, does the dishes just about every night, and is just the most supportive and greatest husband I could ever have hoped for.