Now I'll post it...

Still. Waiting.

Two Words

Bed. Rest.

Huh??? ME???

Ok, so I was gonna post a blog titled two words: still. waiting. And while that is still. true., I now have a more important two words in my vocabulary. This is the last thing I ever, ever expected. Ever.

I had my weekly appointment today and was all prepared to hear, "you're not dilated at all and nothing is happening, see you next week..." but that is not even close to what happened. First of all, I had trace protein in my urine, which she said by itself is pretty normal and nothing to worry about. But then later when she took my blood pressure, she kinda frowned a bit and then told me that it was high... and that she wanted me to be on bed rest. She then took a reading again while I was laying down and it was lower. This, she said, is why I needed to stay down.

"And I do mean bedrest," she said, just as I was thinking she was being a bit extreme. Great.

It's not terribly high, it's really just above the cut-off where it turns from pre-hypertension to hypertension, but that coupled with the protein (which again, is also just a trace) is pre-eclampsia, which can get serious. To be precise, she never said the word pre-eclampsia. 've I just read online that the combination of protein in the urine and high blood pressure is what the diagnosis of pre-eclampsia is based on. She said to stay on bedrest at least until Monday (my next appointment) but probably until I deliver. They are also going to do a biophysical profile on Monday to make sure that everything is a-ok with the baby. This checks the baby's heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing rate, and the amount of amniotic fluid around the baby. They usually do this routine if you get to 41 weeks, which I will be on Wednesday, but I think she scheduled it for Monday because of the blood pressure. She might have done it sooner had it not been Friday... I don't know.

Fortunately, I got almost all the loose end tasks on my to-do list completed yesterday - including some cleaning - and so I'm not freaking out about stuff left undone. Not that I like the idea of not being able to get up and do stuff... there's still plenty I could do and want to do, but I got the essential stuff done yesterday. Phew! What luck in timing! I'd be in a much different frame of mind today had I not gotten those things done.

So that's the bad news. The good news is that I am not at zero - YAY!!! - I am 70% effaced, dilated to 1cm, and the baby's head is at a -1 (which is almost half way to the finish line!!!) I was also having contractions last night that were enough to wake me up when they happened. So early labor is under way... although theoretically it could still be another week or more before I deliver. The midwife seemed to be talking like I might go into labor this weekend, so when we were almost done, I asked her if she thought that I might, and she said, "well, you might..." and I said, "but it could also be another week or so, huh?" and she laughed and said "yup."

She told me to use a breast pump for 30 minutes three times a day which will stimulate the hormone oxytocin, which is what causes contractions. I tried it when I got home and boy did it ever! The contractions I felt while I was pumping were really strong... they are still happening somewhat, but not nearly as strong.

There are two full-time midwives at the center that I have had all my appointments with and gone through the birthing class with and gotten to know pretty well and feel really comfortable with. One weekend a month, they have an alternate midwife on call so that they can both have the weekend off. Normal procedure is that at least once during your pregnancy, you have an appointment with this alternate midwife so that you can meet her for in the event that she is the one who ends up delivering your baby. Somehow, I never got this appointment with her, so I've never met her. Well, she's on call this weekend, so if I do go into labor, she will be delivering the baby. It's gonna be a little weird. I'd be a lot more concerned about it except that when I was about 20 weeks I had some really bad cramps one weekend and called the midwife on call and fortunately, that too happened to be her weekend. I liked her - at least over the phone - and so I'm not too worried about the prospect of her delivering our baby. It will be a little weird though, like I said. I hope it goes okay with her if I end up in labor this weekend... not that I would choose to wait for one of the other midwives if I had the choice - I'm ready to meet this baby!!

All Baby?

Friday I had another appointment. This time I saw the other midwife and she gave me some better news than the week before. She estimated that the baby was between 7lbs and 7.25lbs. So maybe I won't have such a big baby after all. She also checked to see if I was dilating at all and I'm not. No surprise there though, I guess. And she said that they can use breaking my water as a method of induction as long as they have already started the antibiotics... YAY!! I guess that means that I only have about 2 weeks (and three days, but I'm ignoring those three for now) maximum until she arrives. Hopefully much less.

Yesterday we went to the stock show. It was fun although it tired me out pretty quick and I got a migraine half way through it. There is something just not right about walking through and among a bunch of cows and pigs eating a big old corn dog. Not just that it's meat... but that it's all the leftover meat too. And seeing the whole animal it's a lot easier to imagine just where those parts are coming from... I tried not to think about it, but it was still just a bit disturbing. The other thing that was pretty disturbing was how expensive everything is!! $6 for a funnel cake that didn't even fill the plate!! I didn't get it, nor did I get the $3 refill on the $5 coke that they told me was refillable... the only reason I bought it!! But overall, it was really fun and John really enjoyed it too, especially the hereford show.

After we got home, I laid down because of my headache and I was having a whole bunch of really strong contractions... I was hoping I was going into labor, but alas, here I sit - still pregnant. The nap I took helped a lot with my headache - it was one of the shortest migraines I've ever had - but I think it kept me up last night. I was cleaning the house at 9 and though I tried to go to bed at 11 (way past when I usually go to sleep) I just could not sit still - I was wired. I laid there fidgeting and twitching for about an hour and finally had to get up and go to the gym to walk. I walked for about 40 minutes and stopped because my back finally started to hurt too much. I still felt wired on the way home, but at least I was able to sleep after that. People have told me you get a burst of energy before you go into labor, but I don't think that was what it was. I think it was the nap I took and beyond that, just coincidence. I'm not having contractions today (sigh).

My question of the day is this: what do you say when someone tells you that you are all baby? I mean, is that a compliment? Do you say thank you? Presumably, they are telling you this as a way of telling you, "you got a big ol' belly, but you don't look fat or anything..." which is probably supposed to be a compliment, but it feels a bit weird saying thank you to that. And if it's not meant as a compliment, what is the appropriate response? It always feels like it requires a response, but I have never have any idea what to say...

39 weeks and counting!!

Phew! I'm 39 weeks!! I can't believe I only have one week left until I officially hit my due date!! I've been meaning to sit down and write since way last Saturday (a week and a half ago) after my shower, but I just haven't seemed able to get to it. I'm still trying to whittle down my to-do list of things that I need to do before I go into labor, but I just can't seem to ever get completely done. One thing done and another pops up.

My sisters and mother did a really great job throwing my shower and it went off really well. There were a lot of people there and everyone was so very generous. It was really nice to see everyone - some I haven't seen in a while. And it was a good mix of people... it seemed just about everyone had someone there they knew and could talk to, so I didn't find myself worrying about people being uncomfortable or not having a good time.

I spent all day that Sunday trying to get everything organized and put away, among working on my to-do list, and still didn't finish. I worked an hour or so (all I could manage after work and dinner and before bed) each night last week and then on Saturday too and finally got pretty much finished except for packing. I worked on that part of Sunday, but mostly relaxed instead.

And Friday I had another appointment. I found out that I am a carrier for strep B. This isn't really a big problem, just more of an inconvenience. It means that I need to take a shot of antibiotics during labor so that I will pass the medicine on to her through the placenta and she will be protected as she goes through the birth canal. If I don't get the antibiotics shot, she still only has about a 1 in 200 chance of contracting strep, which is way worse for her - it can cause meningitis. But with the antibiotics, she only has a 1 in 4000 chance of getting it. The biggest inconvenience, which may not even be an issue is that if I go past my due date, they can't (or won't) use breaking my water as a way to induce. Breaking the water is probably the single strongest natural thing they can do, so it kinda sucks to take that option away, but I it's better than risking her getting strep and/or meningitis. The reason they won't is because once the water breaks, the chance of bacteria of any kind reaching the baby is way higher. This isn't necessarily the problem either, I don't think (because it's going to eventually break on it's own anyway) but what if they break it and it doesn't work to induce labor? They could break it and I still might not start labor for another few days, during which time she'd be extremely vulnerable to the strep I'm carrying. But anyway, I'm hoping to go into labor without induction - natural or otherwise - and preferably sooner rather than later.

The midwife also told me she estimates the baby is 7 to 7.5 lbs right now... !!! What??? I was hoping she'd be no more than 7 when I had her!! I could conceivably go another 3 full weeks... that means she could weigh 9 pounds by the time I have her!! YIKES!!! However, she is just guessing by what she feels and could be way off. But I have decided to take two take home outfits... one newborn size (5-8 lbs) and one 0-3 month size (8-12lbs).

She also told me that she was laying in there with her back to my back, a position which is the cause of back labor (the most painful kind) and that I should spend more time on my hands and knees because her back is the heaviest part of her and gravity will pull her around. I have found this a rather pointless exercise though - first of all, her back is usually facing my belly anyway, and second of all, she spins around all the time on her own. By laying a certain way or by getting on my hands and knees, I can sometimes get her to spin toward the front if she's not already, but she'll just spin back around as soon as she feels like it. I don't really worry too much about it though, for two reasons. First, like I said: she's usually got her back toward my belly, and second: as long as she can spin around by herself so easily, there's just no point in worrying about it.

Just before Christmas, we had maternity pictures made by a girl I went to highschool with, who is now a photographer. She's very talented - if you ever need a photographer for anything, I recommend her. Here's the link:

http://ardenpruchablog.com/megan-john-babybump/

Surprise!!!

So a little before Christmas a girl at my office (Kate) told me she had bought me a baby gift and wanted to go to lunch sometime so that she could give it to me. This thrilled me... not because of the gift, but because she had asked me to lunch. I'm a little shy, so sometimes it's hard for me to make friends. So we settled on Jan. 7th - she said that after the holidays worked best for her and that she was pretty busy with a project at work for a while.

Meantime, I was busy agonizing over who from the office to invite to my baby shower. I wanted to invite Kate, since she had already told me that she had bought me a gift, and another lady who also told me the same. But if I invited them, I felt I should invite some others that I know pretty well, but I'm pretty new there and there are a lot of people I'm acquainted with, but don't know very well. I didn't want to not invite them and risk offending someone, but at the same time, it wasn't a regular party - a shower is designed for the person to receive gifts, that's the whole point. So it felt kind of weird to invite people I barely knew to give me a gift. I ended up inviting some and not inviting some others who I knew less or felt less comfortable with.

After the holidays, it was really hard to get back into the groove of working every day - we had two short weeks and two long weekends in a row and it was so nice. Thursday finally came around though, and Kate and I left for lunch a few minutes before noon. Kate asked me what I thought of Mimi's Cafe and I told her I'd never been there. She hadn't either but had heard it was pretty good, so we decided to try it. We got to the restaurant and saw the HR lady from work getting out of her car and going in. "Oh, there's Claudia!" I said and waived. Kate responded, "hm, that's weird, maybe she's interviewing someone here today..." Huh? Aren't interviews usually done at the office? But I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be argumentative and I sure had no real idea how Claudia does her interviews...

So we get out and walk in and Kate walks up to the hostess stand and says she has a reservation for Megan. "You made a reservation???" I asked, incredulously. "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure we got a table so we could get back in time..." Hmm... this girl really plans ahead, I thought.

Until we walked into the back room and I saw a big table full of faces I recognized from work! It was a baby shower! I couldn't have been more surprised. The ladies at work were so sweet and so generous! Even some of the girls that I didn't know (and didn't invite to my shower... yikes!) brought gifts. I was a little uncomfortable and a lot worried about this because they were being so nice as to buy gifts, but I didn't invite them to my shower. I worried about this during the whole lunch-shower, but later I stopped worrying because I guess it's different for them to decide to buy me something for a work shower than for me to invite them to a personal shower, thereby pretty much asking them to buy me a gift.

Almost ready!

We got so much done this weekend!! We were literally about 15 minutes away from walking out the door to buy nursery furniture when my sister called to offer us all of theirs. Crib, dresser, changing table, and rocker. So we spent the day moving in furniture and organizing all the stuff my other sister had already given us. So many people have been so generous to us and we are very fortunate.

And I finally hunkered down and ordered diaper stuff... took me way longer than I intended. I started at about 7-7:30 wanted to get to be in bed by 8. That turned to 8:30. Which turned to 9. Let's just say my bedtime changed in half hour increments until about 10:30. But I got it all done and that's what matters. And then I dreamed about diapers all night long... well the parts where I was asleep anyway. Last night was one of those nights where neither one of us slept very well.

So we're just about ready. Some of the major things we have yet to do are pack for labor, rearrange our room to make a place for the bassinet, set up carseats, figure out birth announcements, find a pediatrician, and do all the things I want to do before leaving for the birthing center: grocery shop, laundry, and clean the house. I want to come home to a nice clean house with our new baby. And we still have some other baby supplies left to buy, but at least now we have a place to put them all! YAY!!

And alas, my new-found patience from the other day is starting to wear off just a teeny tiny bit. Okay, a lot. I'm pretty much back to obsessing. But at least I have retained some of the new motivation that came with it. I still have a gargantuan appetite that makes it hard to not eat everything in sight (especially the sweets!) but I have started drinking my tea again and doing some of the exercises that are supposed to prepare me for labor. Oh and I stumbled on some information yesterday about magnesium that has made me decide to risk more leg cramps: it is used to slow or stop contractions in preterm labor. Granted, I'm taking way less than they'd use for that, but far be it from me to knowingly hinder my labor in any way.

Forever turns into an instant!!

No, I didn't go into labor. But my mindset has done a complete 180. It started with me obsessing about having this baby driving me absolutely crazy. And so, for lack of anything better to do about it, I started reading other peoples' blogs about their ninth month and realized that I am not nearly as miserable as I could be. I'm pretty lucky actually. And then I stumbled onto a blog from an L&D nurse chastising all the women who complain about being sick of being pregnant, especially those who induce or schedule early c-sections. It wasn't just the blog itself, it was all the comments from the women who couldn't carry their babies full term. Some of them talked about how much worse it is to leave your baby at the hospital in NICU when you go home than to be uncomfortable pregnant. Others never got to take their babies home.

Yeah, I feel a bit guilty for not being more grateful for what I have. Like I said, I could have it a lot worse. So anyway, I stopped obsessing about labor and made peace with the fact that I just have to wait. And then I started thinking about how little it really is that I have to wait - she's almost only three weeks away, and somehow, for some reason, three weeks sounds infinitely different from four. Four weeks is a month. Three weeks is, well, no time at all!! Oh. My. God!!! I am going to have a baby in three weeks!! There's so much left to do!!!!