She slept on her tummy all day Friday, 2.5-3 hours at a stretch, and then waking up only to eat and go back to sleep. Saturday, she did the same thing. Both these nights, I put her on her back again for the overnight sleep because I was worried she would die of crib death (SIDS). Sunday, we had a family birthday party, so she slept in peoples' arms pretty much all day. Sunday night I put her down at 6pm on her belly, expecting her to wake up about
8:30 or 9 so I could put her on her back for the night... well, she didn't wake up until 3am!! She slept for 9 hours!! I woke up at 12:30 and was worried so I went to check on her. She was breathing fine, and she had slept 6 hours before so I wasn't too worried. I woke up again at about 2:45 and checked on her again. She was breathing, so I went back to bed, but I lay there awake and worrying that she would get SIDS until she woke up. Lucky for me, it was only about 20 minutes until she woke up. She was so calm and quiet when she woke up and ate. Needless to say, I put her on her back for the rest of the night, but she just didn't sleep... when I put her on her back, she grunted and struggled like normal, and she woke up every hour or two after that. When I finally put her back down on her tummy, she fell right to sleep and slept for another 3 hours (this was after I woke up for the day and could check on her often).So here was my dilemma: On one hand, I could let her sleep on her tummy, where she was comfortable and would fall asleep within minutes of being put down, and where she wouldn't startle and wake up with every noise I made, but also where I would be taking the increased risk of her dying of SIDS, worrying every minute she was sleeping, and where I would never, ever forgive myself if something did happen. Or I could put her on her back, where the risk was lower, but she was obviously uncomfortable, didn't sleep well, and woke at every tiny noise.
Like always, I looked it up the internet. Sleeping on their backs lowers the risk of SIDS because the babies sleep lighter and waken more easily. So if they start to suffocate or stop breathing, they will wake up and breathe. Babies on their tummies, on the other hand, sleep more soundly and are more relaxed, so sometimes if they start to suffocate or stop breathing, they will not realize it and move. So even if they have good head control (which she does) and can move their heads, they may not because they are too deeply asleep. I read that babies that sleep on their backs, while having a lower risk of SIDS, also have higher incidences of flat head, crossed eyes, and crooked neck, as well as significantly delayed gross motor, social, and cognitive skills. This means the method of putting them on their backs to reduce SIDS is in effect causing sleep deprivation - enough to delay their development. So much so that experts are considering changing what is considered "normal" to match what babies on their backs do. So do I take a higher chance of SIDS (while technically rare at 1 in a 1000 chance, it is still the leading cause of death in infants under 1 year), or do I let her get good, restorative, healthy sleep? I'd never forgive myself if she died of SIDS while on her stomach, but I feel so mean and cruel putting her on her back where she is obviously uncomfortable and doesn't sleep well.
So yesterday I talked to the doctor about it and while he said that he can't make the decision for me, he pointed out that people were putting babies on their tummies up until about 20 years ago and that SIDS wasn't very likely since I don't have any of the risk factors, other than placing her on her tummy. He told
me to follow my conscience. So I was feeling a little better about putting her on her tummy and resolved to just do it and let her sleep well. Then I got to the front desk. The nurse told me to put a fan in the room, which reduces the risk supposedly by about 70%. That's when the receptionist told me that her niece died of SIDS about 20 years ago and how hard it is to deal with. Not surprisingly, she still got teary eyed when telling me about it. She said her sister found the baby still warm to the touch and their father did CPR for 20-30 minutes, but it didn't help. The vision of me finding her warm but dead is what convinced me. Fan or no fan, I can't take that chance. I would just completely and literally die on the inside if anything happened to Ellen, let alone if it were because of a decision I made like that. The receptionist suggested that I try one of the sleep positioners that prop the babies up on their sides to sleep. And so, it would seem, my problem would be solved.On the way home, I stopped at Target to get one of these things. Ellen also had her DTaP vaccine while we were there (another horrible decision) and was really fussy and tired when we got home. I tried the positioner, but she was just too fussy, so I let her sleep on her tummy one last time while I could monitor her closely.
So for the vaccine. I didn't want to vaccinate her, but Dr. Newell, who doesn't recommend that we do all vaccines, does recommend that we at least do DTaP and HIB. Well, the pertussis part of the DTaP has been known to cause reactions, but pertussis is still out and about and not all that uncommon and it can be fatal. So we followed his recommendation. He told me that because they use so many toxins in these vaccines (they stopped using mercury preservative, but now they use aluminum instead... another toxin) we could do one vaccine at a time and space them out so that her body has more time to metabolize less toxicity than if we did them all at once. So we did DTaP yesterday, we'll do HIB in a month, then DTaP a month later, then HIB again a month after that. I almost cried when they stuck the needle in her. I was so worried about a bad reaction. And I'm not just talking about fussiness or a sore needle site. I was worried about brain damage, convulsions, or death. Yes, very rare, but a possibility nonetheless. But she has more chance of getting pertussis than these reactions, so I did it even though it was hard.
When I got home and she was asleep on her tummy for the last time, I sat down to look up any possible connection with vaccines and SIDS. Supposedly SIDS peaks between 2 and 4 months, which is when vaccines are started. Baaad idea. The first website I found had several horror stories about vaccines and SIDS. www.thinktwice.com/sids.htm. Mothers telling the heart-wrenching stories of their babies' deaths after vaccines and supposedly due to SIDS. Telling about how their babies stopped smiling, stopped responding, and eventually died a week later. I started crying and really worrying. I had to make myself stop reading. When Ellen woke up a little while later, she was fussy and she cried harder than I've ever heard her cry. I was just beside myself with worry and couldn't stop crying myself. Yes, I was over-tired too, (I was up a lot the night before) but I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown having to make so many evil-evil decisions. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
She finally calmed down and I held her until I was ready to put her down for the night at about 7. I nursed her and put her in her positioner at about 7:30. She was not gonna ha
ve it. She did her grunting and struggling routine again, so we tried putting her on her back again. Same thing. Finally, about 8:45 I tried the side positioner again and low and behold, it worked!! She calmed down and soon fell asleep. She slept for 7 hours last night! When she woke at 3:35, I nursed her and had to change her because her diaper had leaked. So she woke up more than she normally would have, so when I put her down again, it took a while for her to fall back to sleep, but she eventually did by 4:30 and slept for about 3 hours. So this side-positioner thingy seems to have solved my dilemma!! YAY!!!!
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