Big bellies seem so cute... until they're imminent.

17 weeks along and I feel like Jabba the Hutt. It's not so much size (although it's definitely bigger than ever) it's more like that feeling that you get after a day of eating nothing but junk and grease: heavy and full and thick and just plain gross. My belly still looks more like a beer belly than a pregnancy, and my regular clothes still fit (most of them were a bit loose to begin with) but this new belly is already uncomfortable sometimes. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it's going to be when it gets even bigger. Oof. It feels like there's no room to put food in there even though I might be really hungry... so I have a dilemma. Eat and feel stuffed like a pig and bloated and distended, or don't eat and feel like sh*t. Well, it's really not that much of a dilemma... I always choose to eat. About every couple hours.

How did my belly get so big compared to the other picture I posted from two weeks ago, you ask? Well, first of all, it did seem like it happened overnight. And second, I usually take my belly pictures in the most flattering way: in the morning, before I've eaten anything... a girl's gotta keep her pride, doesn't she? And that makes a big difference... The picture on the left is me just letting it all hang out after a full day of eating (so much for pride). The picture on the left is just yesterday morning... before eating. This is why I say I feel so distended and bloated and uncomfortable when I eat. What i find so weird is that the top is getting so big too. I expected it all to be in my lower belly but i guess my uterus is growing upward and packing all my organs like sardines into the top of my belly.

The whole point is, I used to think that pregnancy bellies were so cute and it would be so charming to have one. I'm starting to realize what it's really going to be like to have a big, uncomfortable belly (and I've only just begun!!), and I'm not so sure anymore it's going to be as charming as I thought... charming? What was I thinking!?!

Anyway, my fetal heart monitor came this week. It's definitely really loud in your ears and the distortion is unbelievably painful to hear. But, if you can sit still and not hold the thing (or even touch it) with your hands or anything else, it seems like it might just work. I'm only 17 weeks and supposedly it doesn't detect a heartbeat until 20-21 and then only if the baby's in a good position, so I'm not too surprised that I haven't heard it yet. I do hear noises coming from my belly, but as of now, I'm not able to distinguish with any certainty what is gas gurgles and what is possible baby movement. With the stethoscope, you can practically see the bubbles and know what couldn't possibly be baby, but it's not strong enough to pick up the baby movement (or at least I haven't heard anything with the stethoscope that I'd contribute to baby). With the monitor, everything is so loud, and it's electronic so almost all of it sounds the same. I'm going to give the thing a few more weeks before giving it a thumbs up or thumbs down.

And I've been having a horrible, horrible pain in my sacrum (the large triangular bone at the base of your spine) and right side of my bum. I finally went to a chiropractor on Tuesday because it got so bad Monday night that I couldn't walk, sit or stand with out excruciating pain. She told me that the sacrum is twisted to the right, but all she can do is pain management for now and we can work on correction after the pregnancy. Her two reasons were 1. she can't do an x-ray and 2. the pregnancy hormone relaxin, which relaxes muscles and ligaments to allow your pelvis to change shape, complicates things too much. Ugh. I don't have insurance and I can't afford pain management!!! I went twice though, and I think it's getting worse, not better, so I cancelled my appointment for today and don't plan on going back until I can get some kind of insurance. I'll just have to manage the pain the old-fashioned way: grin and bear it.